Journaling the blissful and challenging moments of being a single mother while sharing advice from those powerful women who have gone before us.
"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop.”- Wisdom of Confucius"
I know there are individuals out there who despise the Christmas holiday, but alas, I am exactly the opposite. I find the cold weather comforting as I settle into my “comfy clothes” by the fire at night. I think the snow is somewhat magical, granted, not always while I’m driving….and Christmas music always manages to bring a smile to my face.
I spoke to my boss this morning about my single mamma situation. I decided this after speaking with my amazing mother all the way to work and being encouraged to “explore every option” when it comes to picking Lailah up after daycare. I explained the restraining order at the beginning of the divorce, the fear of neglect with my child and possible harm (as transpired many times in the past). I asked about the possibility of changing my hours while stressing that I do love my job and will stay in my current hours if that means survival for me. She was incredibly understanding, shared her own experience as a single mom with an ex drunk husband, and assured me we would work something out.
I felt a bit better after that conversation, and a TON better after lunch. I was actually thinking about what to do for lunch since I was so bothered this AM with my single mamma situation that I forgot to pack my beloved soup. Since it is quite chilly outside I considered the drive-thru options, then realized I would really like to settle into a booth where I could continue reading on my new, fabulous Amazon Kindle. (I’m reading “The Hunger Games…bloody fabulous) With that in mind I drove to the nearest diner, a Steak-N-Shake, settled in with a bowl of chili, and read. It was so fun sitting there by myself, realizing I actually like spending time with myself (!) and listening to the blaring Christmas music and viewing my table decorated with the holiday themed restaurant mat. I even topped my meal off with a piping hot cup of coffee, which reminded me of my Grandpa, who couldn’t possibly have a meal without a cup of coffee.
Upon preparing to pay, I saw the lights of the toy vending machine reflecting in the plastic case of chocolate chip cookies. Hmmm….flashing cookies, impressive. What a “flashy” way to end my relaxing, holiday themed lunch. Now I am counting the hours until I get to go home and hug my baby girl, whom tomorrow I take to the Dr. for her warts. We cannot rid her of these things! Ah, alas, more fun to come.
Thankful for the time of year when we remember what matters most.
Coffee like Grandpa
…and I’m not referring to the earth, tree hugging green.
I guess I’m starting this blog to see if there are other mothers out there like me. I’m a thirty year old ambitious female who was married for the past 5 years to a man who turned out to be, well, that’s a whole other blog.
I currently find myself a single mother of the most beautiful four year old on the planet, and a part-time mother to my step-daughter from my previous marriage. Tonight I find myself extremely frustrated as my job, which I am very grateful to have, mandates that I work the hours of 9am-6pm. The problem with these hours is that my daughter’s daycare closes at 5:30, the daycare I spend 700.00/mo on. Not only do I find myself struggling to afford daycare, food, our house payment (which is significantly less than daycare), gymnastics, etc…but I now am in the predicament where I need to find someone to pick my child up from daycare and watch her until I am able to arrive home from work.
My mother can’t pick her up because she lives out of town. My brother has chronic back pain and can’t make it to work most days, much less pick up and care for my child. My ex husband I refuse to let pick her up because 1. There has been a restraining order against him for me and my daughter and 2. I just found out his Mr. “I Go to Church and am a Family Man” routine is an absolute sham. The divorce didn’t change him, it just allowed him to put his dick even further ahead of his children.
I have resorted to asking friends (meaning people I work with because being a single mom and working 4 jobs I don’t have time for “friends”) if they know any responsible high school/college student whom I could pay 50.00/week to watch my child after school. As I type this, I realize that with my incredible math skills (I was an English major) I don’t even have 50.00/week to spend on a sitter. I have 50.00 total for the month, and that only leaves me 34.62 left over after all my bills. Well shit, time to figure something else out.
Does anyone have advise other than to start buying lotto tickets (I don’t gamble, I’m too frugal)? I already still owe my lawyer over 1500.00 for the divorce which I couldn’t factor into my budget either. I guess this means I better make some damn good art or see if I can start singing at the bar more than once/month.
It’s Not Easy Being Green